Uglacy Challenge

Turning the family of three remaining Pugsleys into a family of four was no small feat. In an attempt to speed up Norman’s Tedious Teenhoodâ„¢, he went to have a sip of elixir in low green with three days left before his birthday. And it gave him three more days. He tried again. He got three more days. He tried again. He got three more days. He kept going, trying to at least undo the extra time, until he had regenerated his entire teenhood and was back to 15 days. After something like three tanks of elixir, he finally got back down to just three days and left it at that. Meanwhile, Juan and Kaebrianl aged naturally into elders in the green, which would have been the low green if they didn’t autonomously flirt with each other right before six, and actually look fairly distinguished. I think it helps that they’re both at maximum fitness, so they’re not quite as saggy.

Norman finally gets to his last two days of teenhood and invites Sandy Bruty over for his party. He turns into a fugly adult with a bowl haircut and a suit that belongs on a TV version of an eccentric professor, but Sandy loves him anyway. Her move into the family is cheered despite her paltry $4000, her zero skill points, and her slutty ways. Yes, Sandy, you’re exactly the kind of girl we’re looking to take out of circulation here at the Pugsley Estate.

Norman and Sandy waste no time in conceiving an heir. Even though they have to leap out of bed after the first attempt and give it another go, they’re good sports about it, and the second round is successful. However, Norman gets cold feet and develops a fear of engagement. After a couple days of pregnancy, he’s still hanging onto his hangup, so they go ahead and get engaged anyway. He takes the hit and decides to make it up later with his WooHoo want. However, before they have time for that, they need to drag Sandy’s pregnant ass out to the wedding arch (God wanted a good show) and do the deed so she can give birth to a true Pugsley. Norman and hugely pregnant Sandy stand under the arch, Kaebrianl and Juan come linger near the chairs, Derek the paper boy happens by and twirls into a suit for the affair (damn my breaking down and putting a gate in the fence), and the ceremony starts.

The carpool for Kaebrianl and Juan shows up halfway through and they unceremoniously head off to work in the middle of the vows, but it’s for the best because Norman stumbles away from the arch in total aspiration failure from his fear of marriage.

Derek is left staring aghast as the invisible Sim Shrink comes and pulls Norman out of his aspirational abyss. Sandy seems unfazed and heads in to use the bathroom. Norman finally hauls himself out of his despair, rolls up a fear of having a baby, and expresses his hankering for love to a sponge mop with a paper plate face before heading in for some WooHoo with his bride.

In short order, Norman is back on the floor clucking like a chicken for the Sim Shrink when baby Michaiah is born.

Michaiah is a fair, blonde, blue-eyed boy who turns out to be a 10/9/5/1/9, bless him. Kaebrianl, Juan, and Sandy all split the teaching of the toddler skills, and Michaiah grows up into an unremarkable-looking child.

Kaebrianl used a day off to make an unneccessary call to the exterminator, getting Jessie Day over and making him a friend. When he’s invited over and another exterminator is called, it’s the lovely and charming Carmen Patch, Fuglette Extraordinaire!!

Unfortunately, she decided she would be over in the morning, and no one happened to have the following day off. The next unneeded exterminator was Robi Charvat, who the family let come over to see if he was as ugly as his portrait. Unfortunately, he was not. Kaebrianl soldiered on and placed phone call after phone call to the exterminator company, refusing service over and over until the elusive Carmen got on the line. Finally she lured Carmen to the house, chatted her up, and even managed to introduce her to grandson Michaiah, whom Carmen got along with swimmingly (not that it matters, because they are destined by God to be together despite). Depending on whether Michaiah’s ugliness develops properly on his upcoming birthday, God is contemplating moving in good buddy Carmen and perhaps finding that she’s willing to sleep around with Norman while she’s waiting for Michaiah to grow up. Her charms shouldn’t go to waste and a combination of her and Norman might just be too much to pass up. (Her and Juan would be even better, but since such an offspring would regrettably not be related to Aackrod, it wouldn’t count in the Uglacy.) Such are the sordid affairs that a deity will resort to to get the ugliest possible Sim.

The industrious Pugsley household has almost all the career rewards now–Aackrod brought home the business reward; Melissa got the culinary one; Kaebrianl gamely gave up her successful science career to do a one-day stint in the military, then an entry-level science job, and finally an athletic career that she’s just about to max out; Juan got the medicine reward and switched careers to law enforcement (and, BTW, there appears to be no right answer to that chance card about “Yell Loudly” or “Yell Really Loudly,” so, having lost both ways, Juan ignored it the third time it came up); and Norman, in the manner of many, cut his life of crime short after scoring the lie detector and went into politics. He’s slated to take up slacking as soon as the appropriate job listing comes up on the computer. Now that I know you can’t be too smart when starting a job, it’s gotten much easier to collect them all!